Toy Story 5: How Are We On Number FIVE?!

I’m sorry, but at what point did this happen?

I still remember going to see Toy Story as a kid. Woody and Buzz were having an existential crisis, Sid was terrorising innocent toys, and I was just happy to see a talking dinosaur.

Then there was Toy Story 2.

Then Toy Story 3, which emotionally destroyed an entire generation.

Then Toy Story 4, where we all collectively agreed that maybe saying goodbye was okay after all.

And now?

Toy Story 5.

FIVE.

I genuinely feel like I blinked and somehow ended up here.

The strangest part is that every new Toy Story film causes the same reaction:

“Why are they making another one?”

Followed immediately by:

“Well, obviously I’m going to watch it.”

Because that’s the thing about Toy Story.

It isn’t really about the toys anymore.

It’s about us.

The kids who watched the first film are now adults with jobs, mortgages, wedding plans, questionable backs, and a sudden urge to tell younger people that cartoons were better in our day.

Every new Toy Story film is basically Pixar checking whether we’re okay.

The answer is usually:

“No, but thanks for asking.”

The really wild part is that the villain this time appears to be technology.

Which is slightly awkward considering I will almost certainly be buying my cinema ticket on my phone, watching trailers on YouTube, and then immediately discussing the film online afterwards.

The irony is not lost on me.

Still, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s never to underestimate Pixar’s ability to make me cry over objects.

I’ve cried over toys.

I’ve cried over fish.

I’ve cried over emotions.

At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if Pixar released a film about a slightly sad toaster and somehow won an Oscar.

So yes.

Am I questioning why we’re getting Toy Story 5?

Absolutely.

Will I be sitting in the cinema with a giant drink, a bucket of popcorn, and the emotional stability of a wet paper bag?

Also absolutely.

To infinity…

…and apparently beyond four sequels.

💖