Fast-forward to the 2090s: I’m in a pink cardigan, ruling Friday nights from my favourite armchair while a baffled 20-something carer asks, “Who’s Basil Brush?” And I’m like: sit down, child — we’re doing a full 90s/00s curriculum. Capri-Suns chilling. Doritos in bowls. JLS on before tea or no biscuits for anyone.
Because some things don’t change: I’m still Actually Asten, just louder, sparklier, and with more stories to tell. The Nostalgia Club meets every Friday in the common room — attendance mandatory, vibes immaculate.
Future Asten’s House Rules
- If you can’t do the Reach routine, you’re on dish duty.
- Basil Brush is required viewing. 🦊
- Tea only arrives after JLS. That’s the law. 🎶
- MSN statuses were an art form — and yes, “BRB” still counts.
- Capri-Suns may be served… in a pink limo. Obviously.
Daisy says
“When I’m in the care home, don’t bring me tea unless you’ve put JLS on first.”
“If the carers don’t know who Basil Brush is, lecture starts at 3pm.”
“Nostalgia Club meets every Friday — attendance is mandatory, Doritos provided.”
One day the carers will thank me. Until then: welcome to Actually Asten Nostalgia Club — est. 2090, powered by pop and petty dance-move policing. 💖
Asten Does Nostalgia 
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