💌 Parasocial Crushes: My First Love Wasn’t Real (and That’s Okay)

Asten Does Nostalgia • 27 August 2025

When I look back at my teenage years, one of the things that makes me cringe the most is the intensity of my parasocial crushes. You know the type — the popstar on your bedroom wall, the TV character who felt like they “got” you, the safe obsession that filled the gaps when real life felt too sharp.

Mine? Let’s just say it wasn’t your standard boyband pin-up. While everyone else was swooning over Justin Timberlake’s ramen noodle hair, I was daydreaming about… a puppet fox in a suit. Yep. Basil Brush. Boom Boom.

At the time, it wasn’t about “romance” the way grown-ups think of it. It was about comfort. My autistic brain needed somewhere safe to pour all those overwhelming feelings, and Basil was consistent, funny, and always there when I turned on the TV. Looking back, I can see it wasn’t silly — it was survival.

Parasocial crushes are practice. They’re like emotional training wheels. They let you figure out what you like, how it feels to be swept up in obsession, and how to hold those huge feelings without the risk of rejection. Mine just happened to be fluffier than most.

Fast forward to now, and I can see the through-line. The way I write Amber’s swoony obsession with Jonas? That’s because I get it. I’ve been there. Parasocial love was my first language. And it grew into something more — the ability to write, to imagine, to feel deeply.

So yeah, Past Me might have plastered her walls with foxes and boybands. Present Me gets to laugh, reflect, and even write a whole book series inspired by the wildness of parasocial feelings.

Parasocial crushes weren’t fake. They were real to me. And that’s what mattered.

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🌟 Daisy’s Corner 🌟

“Oh babes, embarrassed about a parasocial crush? Please. Everyone else was crying over lads who looked like they’d lost a fight with a packet of noodles. You chose a fox in a suit. Iconic behaviour. Parasocial crushes are just the rehearsal dinner — the main course is learning what real, mutual love feels like. Boom Boom, glow-up complete.”

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