Daisy’s Guide to Game Shows: Balls, Buzzers, and Betrayal

Featuring Mr Chips slander, Golden Balls worship, and exactly zero useful advice.

This week on Asten Does Nostalgia, I made the mistake of letting Daisy Carter loose on the world of classic game shows. Here’s what happened. I take no responsibility for the following chaos.

🟨 Golden Balls

💰 The reason I have trust issues.

“Imagine Deal or No Deal but everyone is a compulsive liar and Jasper Carrott is legally required to watch them do it.”
Favourite bit: When someone says “You can trust me” then steals everything and smiles through it. Psychotic. I support it.
Rating: 10/10 Balls. Needs a reboot. I’ll host. No one would win. Ever.

🟩 Catchphrase

🧠 Say what you see. Unless what you see is ‘man goat chicken tree,’ then keep it to yourself.

Mr Chips is the real star. I don’t trust him. He’s seen things.
Favourite quote: “Will the middle solve the riddle?” Sir, the middle has no idea what’s going on.
Rating: 9/10 Confused guesses. I still think it was “man with soup.”

🟥 Pointless

📊 The most polite quiz show on Earth. Even the wrong answers feel apologetic.

Richard Osman? Tall. Sarcastic. Possibly a spreadsheet in disguise.
Watching it feels like being in a very calm pub quiz where no one gets too drunk.
Rating: 8/10 Pointless answers. Would marry Richard for the stats.

🟦 The Chase

🧠 Pub quiz with jump scares.

Bradley Walsh is the best bit. He laughs at fart jokes and I respect that.
The Chasers are terrifying. If I saw The Governess in Tesco I’d abandon my trolley.
Rating: 9/10 Chase music-induced panics. Would fail spectacularly but look good doing it.

🟨 Tipping Point

🎰 The coin pusher of fate.

Basically: “Answer questions to operate a fairground machine and win £10,000 or a branded pencil.”
Suspense level: UNREAL. One coin away from greatness every time.
Rating: 7/10 edge-of-seat moments. Also, how is Ben Shephard still so enthusiastic?

🟪 Family Fortunes

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 We asked 100 people. 12 of them said something completely unhinged.

It’s always “Name something you find in the bathroom” and someone says “Tractor.”
Les Dennis: King of “Ehhh-ehhh!” noises.
Rating: 8/10 dumb answers. 2/10 logic. 100/10 vibes.

💬 Final Thoughts from Daisy:
“If I ever go on a game show, I’m there to cause chaos. Steal the money, make Bradley laugh, and confuse Mr Chips. That’s the dream.”