Okay, let’s just say it: balloons are terrifying.
Not “silly scary” like a haunted house you secretly enjoy. I mean genuinely fear-inducing. Heart racing, hiding behind chairs at birthday parties, scanning the room for an escape route the second someone brings out the helium. My relationship with balloons? It’s complicated, chaotic, and dates back to toddlerhood.
“But they’re fun!” – Literally Everyone
Are they though? They’re rubber spheres of unpredictable doom. They float like they’re possessed. They squeak when you touch them. And they exist solely to eventually explode.
I don’t care how many Peppa Pig faces you print on them — a balloon is still a pressurised panic machine just waiting to go BANG when you least expect it.
Origin Story: The Wedding Incident
According to my mum (because I’ve blacked this out like the traumatic moment it clearly was), my fear of balloons was so intense that she had to cancel having them at her wedding. Because of toddler me. Absolute diva move, and I stand by it. Sorry, Mum.
Birthday Party Minefields
Even now, parties can be tricky. I went to my little cousin’s birthday recently and it was basically a balloon battleground. I spent most of it strategising how to exist in the room without touching, hearing, or looking directly at the balloon clusters like some sort of glittery stealth mission.
And don’t even talk to me about popping games. WHY would you encourage children to deliberately destroy the thing we’re all pretending isn’t a floating jump scare? Unhinged.
Autistic Sensory Hell
As an autistic person, it goes deeper than just fear. Balloons trigger every sensory alarm. Sudden loud noises? Check. Unpredictable textures? Check. Visual overstimulation, squeaky rubbing, and the constant threat of detonation? Triple check.
They’re basically the final boss of the party sensory overload arc.
Let’s Normalise Balloon Fear
This isn’t just “being dramatic.” It’s real. And honestly? If you’re also a balloon avoider, you’re not alone. Some of us are just built different — by which I mean our nervous systems are finely tuned and balloons are not invited to the vibe.
So next time someone says, “What kind of person’s scared of balloons?” feel free to direct them here. Or just quietly leave the room. Either is valid.
Daisy’s Corner 🟡
DAISY: I once popped three balloons at Amber’s 9th birthday and she cried so hard Jonas tried to sing her a JLS ballad to calm her down. I’m not sorry. I will never be sorry. Balloons are chaos incarnate and if you invite them to your wedding, I’m not coming. Unless there’s cake.
Asten Does Nostalgia 
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