🕒 That Damn Cake: The Curious Case of What’s the Time Mr Wolf?

Filed under: VHS Memories, Lost Media, Unhinged Nostalgia

You know when something from your childhood just lodges itself into your brain and refuses to leave — even though no one else seems to remember it? Yeah. That’s me with a certain VHS tape called What’s the Time Mr Wolf?

And more specifically: That damn cake.

If you know, you know. If you don’t… buckle up.

🎥 The Tape I Swear Exists (Even If the Internet Doesn’t)

At some point in the late ’90s or early 2000s, I watched a VHS tape titled What’s the Time Mr Wolf? — possibly borrowed, possibly bought in a random Woolworths bargain bin, possibly just dropped into our house by a mischievous nostalgia fairy.

I don’t remember much else about the tape.

Not the full cast. Not the production company. Not the plot (if there even was one). But what I do remember is this:

• It was aimed at kids. Possibly educational.
• There was a song or rhyme based on the playground game.
• There was a cake involved.
• The cake was a clock.
• And something weird happened to it.

And no, I don’t mean a gentle slice served with juice and paper plates. I mean… the hands moved, there may have been a talking clock situation, and the whole thing had an energy I can only describe as “early CBeebies meets David Lynch.”

🧠 What Do I Actually Remember?

• ✅ A round cake decorated like a clock
• ✅ Possibly candles where the numbers should be
• ✅ A build-up to someone (Mr Wolf?) revealing the time
• ✅ Chaos
• ✅ My brain going “this is deeply unsettling but I must watch it again immediately”

The rest is a blur. Did Mr Wolf eat the cake? Did the cake sing? Was I just watching an ad for Numbertime after drinking too much orange squash? WHO CAN SAY.

📼 The Case of the Disappearing VHS

Here’s the kicker: I can’t find this bloody thing anywhere.

Not on YouTube. Not on eBay. Not in those cursed nostalgia forums where people remember obscure shows about talking trains and haunted vegetables. It’s as if the tape vanished, swallowed whole by the great unlabelled box of tapes under everyone’s stairs.

And yet — I know it was real. I know that cake existed. I know I didn’t just dream it after one too many chocolate Nesquiks.

Right? RIGHT?!

🍰 Why This Haunts Me

It’s not just about the cake. It’s about how vividly we remember these small moments from childhood. The sights. The sounds. The vibe of certain media. And how frustrating it is when no one else seems to remember them.

But maybe that’s the joy of it — the weird specificity. Like, I might not remember algebra. But I remember that damn clock cake.

And honestly? That feels like a win.

🐺 Daisy’s Corner

DAISY CARTER WRITES:

I dunno what cake you’re talking about but if a clock started singing at me I’d punch it.

Also: why are we trusting a wolf with timekeeping? He doesn’t even wear a watch.

If I ever find that tape, I’m launching a full-scale investigation. And eating the cake. For evidence, obviously.

Want to help me track this mystery down? Drop a comment if you remember this VHS. Or any other obscure childhood fever dream that refuses to leave your brain.

Because I can’t be the only one haunted by a singing cake.

🕒🍰🐺